There are tipsters but then there are the tips WRITTEN BY (Race 1, no.5) the PUN-ter.
After a celebrating Halloween on Wednesday in which I dressed up as the GRIM REAPER (Race 1, no.7) it’s time to put the costume away and get my best bag of fruit on because it’s Melbourne Cup week!
Derby Day is really one of the BEST OF DAYS (Race 8, no.17) going during the Melbourne Cup CARNIVAL (Race 9, no.8).
Racings HOME GROUND (Race 7, no.5) Flemington will look VERRY ELEEGANT (Race 2, no.2) for the next week and I AM EXCITED (Race 9, no.4) for what I’m willing to VOW AND DECLARE (Race 7, no.18) as the greatest week of the year.
So far this spring I haven’t really kept a TALLY (Race 4, no.5) of any winners I’ve had COMIN’ THROUGH (Race 3, no.8). Your traditional racing FUNDAMENTALIST (Race 6, no. 16) doesn’t like my methods of no form, no analysis, just puns but I feel that it’s important that I HAVASAY (Race 3, no.9) on the big days of spring.
I’m looking forward to getting on down to headquarters with my rich mate Syd. He’s loaded, I’m definitely not on SYD’S COIN (Race 1, no.1) I can tell you that. I thought he would take his missus, Bon, you know being LADIES FIRST (Race 4, no.13) and all but BON’S AWAY (Race 3. No.7) on a girls trip so I scored the invite!
We’ll be hitting up the Birdcage, how he got us passes I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure he knows the right people FROM WITHIN (Race 9, no.7) Melbourne social circles that’s why we got the passes. He tells me that his work has a marquee at Flemington which comes with a bar that will be EXCLUSIVELY OURS (Race 2, no.8) for the day.
They say only the rich and famous can go into the birdcage at Flemington, well I reckon I AM A STAR (race 6, no.1) and rightfully deserve my spot in the Birdcage.
Have a great Derby Day!
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